Illustration: Viewed upside down, Beer Puppies are one of the more adorable microbes we consume.
Similar to Daphnia, Beer Puppies are microscopic crustaceans adapted to weakly-alcoholic environments, and are most dependably found inhabiting hairline scratches on the insides of beer kegs, where carbon dioxide bubbles tend to collect. Though many are washed away with each recycling of the keg contents, enough are typically able to hide within moist crevices to pass along another generation to the next fresh batch. Reproduction is parthenogenic, again similar to daphnia. But rather than eggs, each beer puppy can be seen under a high-powered microscope to contain a dozen or more generations, each generation recursively revealing exactly one smaller replica of itself. Though this reproductive cycle happens quickly, with each “Russian Doll” birthing itself within a day after its parent, this inefficient litter-of-one survival strategy invites wonder into how it has survived as a species at all.
